What is the ONE essential element for a happy and fulfilling marriage?

Today, my wife and I celebrate 31 years of marriage. As I've reflected on our life together, I asked myself, what has made our marriage so fulfilling and meaningful? Many thoughts came to mind; was it the trips we took? No, that's not it. Was it the dream home we built? No, that's not it. How about the money we made and fancy restaurants we went to? Definitely not!

Some might say, you guys must communicate really well. After all, communication is the key to a good marriage. Communication is important, but nope, that's not it either.

Marriage is a journey filled with joy, growth, and of course, challenges. For many couples, the goal is to cultivate a lasting bond that thrives through life's ups and downs. We think if we make enough money, travel, have lots of kids or have the perfect home we'll be happy. But that's not where happy marriages are built. Here's the reality.

Happy and fulfilling marriages are not built in highlight reels; they are built in every day, insignificant moments.

Why is a happy marriage built in the insignificant moments? Because, that's where you are 99% of the time. Highlight reels are great for creating awesome memories, but they do very little for adding strength to your relationship. A strong marriage is not built during the best week or two of the year when you're on vacation at your best. Here's where it really happens:

• A strong marriage is built on the boring weekend when you can't afford to do anything but sit at home.

• A strong marriage is built in the evening when you get home from an overwhelming day at work.

• A strong marriage is built when the kids won't listen, the laundry is piling up and the house is a mess. Oh, and the new puppy just chewed up your new shoes.

• A strong marriage is built when you have nothing but a wish list.

• A strong marriage is built when the kids are grown and gone, life slows down and you wonder what your spouse has been up to for the last 25 years.

Ninety-nine percent of life happens in the day-to-day interactions. How we respond in what seems to be insignificant, boring and even stressful moments is the one thing that will determine the destiny of your relationship. So, learn to connect during the boring moments. Maximize the insignificant days at home when life's not perfect. Show appreciation for one another for the small things. When there's nothing else to do, go for a walk, talk to each other, laugh, dance, plan your next trip, dream for the future or just sit on the couch and eat popcorn together. The one thing you can always do in insignificant moments is a small act of kindness. Don't let those opportunities pass you by.

You suddenly realize as you make your way through life that life is short! It doesn't last forever. Remember that the most meaningful and fulfilling relationships are not built during random special events; they are built every day.

Marriage gets so much better when you apply the wisdom that says moments that are seemingly insignificant, are actually the greatest opportunities you have for a happy and meaningful life together!